Happy Father’s Day From your fellow dad at Bailey Builds!
By Nathanael Bailey
We thought we’d share a little Father’s Day humor as we celebrate Dads of all kinds today! There’s nothing like some solid dad puns to commemorate what makes dads one of a kind.
As the dad of Bailey Builds, I’m usually at the source of every eye rolling pun around here.
“Dad puns, that’s how eye roll.”
So if you’re celebrating your great dad, father figure, amazing brother, or best friend on this special day, we’ve put together some great puns and jokes to share at your gathering, or just make you smile today.
The beauty of dad puns is that they often roll out of the mouth on the fly, fabricated on the spot as a response to that very moment and circumstance.
At what point us dads learn the art of puns is a mystery, but the eye rolling response we glean as the reward is no secret!
To give you a leg up at the family get together, I’ve pulled together a few of my favorite jokes and puns that I’ve come across lately. These will surely make old pops crack a grin, so make sure to share a couple at dinner or over the phone! Better yet, teach them to your kids to pass on the art of corny humor! Their gramps will definitely be impressed!
Here’s some laughs for dads of every kind!
For the mechanic/builder Dad:
“What invention allows us to see through walls? …. -Windows.”
“That car looks nice but the muffler seems exhausted.”
“What did one wall say to the other? -I’ll meet you at the corner.”
“I’ve got a great joke about construction… but I’m still working on it.”
“What kind of car does a dog owner drive? -A Fur-rari.”
“What invention allows us to see through walls? …. -Windows.”
“That car looks nice but the muffler seems exhausted.”
“What did one wall say to the other? -I’ll meet you at the corner.”
“I’ve got a great joke about construction… but I’m still working on it.”
“What kind of car does a dog owner drive? -A Fur-rari.”
For the foodie Dad:
“When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?”
“Do you wanna box for your leftovers?” – “No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.”
“I once had a dream that I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. -It was more of a fanta sea.”
“I once got fired from a canned juice company. -Apparently I couldn’t concentrate.”
“What do you get from a pampered cow? -Spoiled milk.”
“I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. -Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.”
“Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.”
For the teacher Dad:
“What country’s capital is growing the fastest?” – “Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.”
“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. -It’s impossible to put down!”
“I’m afraid of the calendar. -It’s days are numbered.”
“If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Pilgrims.”
“Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.”
“What did the zero say to the eight? -That belt looks good on you.”
“I have a joke about chemistry, but I don’t think it will get a reaction.”
For the music Dad:
“I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.”
“Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.”
“Have you heard about the chocolate record player? -It sounds pretty sweet.”
“A musician told me he was going to hit me with his guitar. … -I replied, ‘Is that a fret?’”
“Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? -Because all they said was, ‘Bach, Bach, Bach!’”
For the nature Dad:
“Have you ever tried to catch a fog? I tried yesterday but I mist.”
“What’s brown and sticky? -A stick.”
“What’s the best smelling insect? -A deodor-ant.”
“What did the ocean say to the beach? -Nothing, it just waved.”
“I don’t trust those trees. -They seem kind of shady.”
“Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? -Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.”
“What did the fish say when he hit the wall? -Dam.”
For the stinker Dad:
“How do you make a Kleenex dance? -Put a little boogie in it!”
“What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn? -Where’s Pop Corn.”
“What do you call someone with no body and no nose? -Nobody Knows.”
“What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? -A meltdown.”
“You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.”
“Spring is here! -I got so excited I wet my plants.”
For the Sports Dad:
“Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? -In case they get a hole in one!”
“I used to be a personal trainer… Then I gave my too weak notice.”
“What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? -Live stream.”
“I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. -I’m just doing it for kicks!”
“Why did all the fish refuse to play basketball? … -Because they were afraid of the net.”
To all the fathers out there:
Enjoy the day, and be thankful for those around you that have given you the title of Dad, and for those who have helped guide you along the Dad journey!
And to all those who call someone Dad:
Thanks for putting up with every eye rolling pun we throw your way! Happy Fathers Day!